Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize