I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Randomize
