Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
