It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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