...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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