is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
