ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
