I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
