so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
