thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We left the knife in your bed.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
