Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
