I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
