Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
