nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
