i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
