turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
