i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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