After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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