It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
