dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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