After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
