Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
