do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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