well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
