I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
