sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
