I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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