shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
What a dumb baby whore.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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