My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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