I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
