soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
40s are totally the cure
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Randomize
