Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I have aggressive nipples.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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