You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
