i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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