Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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