Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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