Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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