Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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