My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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