my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
