apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
