its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
