omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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