that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
