...so i touched it.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I could fuck to npr.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
