before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
