okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
