You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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