I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
My underwear smells like fireworks.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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