he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
