Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
