smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize