he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Of course I have a pirate flag
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
