3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Randomize
