btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize