He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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