D3 body, D1 cock
if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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