rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
