I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
