If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
