is your mom at the bar?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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