If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
