Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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