I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
