oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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