i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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