Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
