Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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