shes about as inviting as chlamydia
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
