I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
