Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
