whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Randomize
