I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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